The Fanfic of Stupidity
by Kyla
Summary: Basically? Well, it's stupid.


Notes: This uses YKYWABFW by Meeko.  
The song (totally unrelated to the story) was suggestion number 7. I couldn't find any good songs with "love" "pain" or "heart" in the title so I just got the first Jewel song I could find (I actually like this song. Shaddup).  
My little brother just stole my—oh, that has nothing to do with the story.  
There actually is a plot, but otherwise the story sucks (hey! It has something none of my other stories have achieved! I'm proud!)  
  
Thankyou, Meekers.  
  
-/|\-  
  
People living their lives for you on TV.  
They say they're better than you and you agree.  
He says, "Hold my calls" from behind walls cold.  
The Boss says, "Come here boy. There ain't nothin' for free."  
Another doctor's bill, a lawyer's bill,  
Another cute cheap thrill   
You know you love him if you put him in your will but...  
  
  
"Hey! We won!" Marco said, looking surprised.  
Visser three lay dead on the ground.  
"Yay!" Tobias yelled.  
A Hork-Bajir killed him.  
"TOBIAS!" Rachle screamed. "NOOOO!" She ran over to him, crying.  
"No, I love you! Don't die! Don't die!"  
tobias looked at her, tried to speak, and managed, "Rosebud." Then he collapsed and died.  
No one spent any time whatsoever thinking about what rosebud meant (dammit! That was the plot! Oh well…), and they all went home.  
  
Jake walked Cassie home.  
"Cassie?"  
"Yes?"  
Jake got down on his knees. "Would you… I mean… cassie, would you marry me?"  
"Of COURSE!" Cassie yelled, and they started making plans.  
  
-/|\-  
  
Who will save your souls when it comes to the flowers now  
Who will save your souls after all the lies that you told, boy   
Who will save your souls if you won't save your own?  
  
  
"THESE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" rachel screamed.  
"Now Rachel…"  
"Kerry! Outside! Now! And stop arguing with Tommy!"  
marco patted his wife on the shoulder. "It's okay, Rachel."  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
"What were my parents like?" Tommy asked Kerry.  
"They're dead. The Yeerks did it. Shut up."  
Kerry liked that phase—shut up.  
"And why were you looking at uncle Marco like that? You look at boys at school like that, too, before Jenny starts singing the kissy song—"  
"You shut up!" Kerry yelled. Then she decided to try something. She reached out and touched Tommy—  
"HEY!"  
--And he went into a trance.  
Kerry grinned as she knocked tommy out, then morphed him in seconds.  
  
Thanks to Kerry's super powers, she got to the Andalite Home World (which was really called planet Trunoiedaoihddsubngo, but we call it Andalite Home World 'cuz that's easier to say) and, morphing Tommy, she was male so they let her into the military.  
One day she ran into someone—  
"KERRY!"  
"Wha?"  
"It's me, Cassie! I wasn't dead at all, I escaped at the last minute with Eric and we finally found you!"  
"Wha?"  
"I'm going to lead the Animorphs and you can be with us thanks to your great powers!"  
"Wha?"  
"Come on! Hurry up! The ship leaves in a few seconds!"  
  
-/|\-  
  
We try to hustle them, try to bustle them, try to cuss them  
The cops want someone to bust down on Orleans Avenue  
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower  
Went up to where the homeless had their homes  
So we pray to as many different gods as there are flowers  
But we call religion our friend  
We're so worried about saving our souls   
Afraid that God will take his toll  
That we forget to begin  
  
  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm… a mysterious child who mysteriously disappeared. The Hork-Bajir raised me as their own."  
Princess Cassy regarded her carefully. "Oh my god! I know you!"  
"What?"  
"You're Jake and Rachel's daughter!"  
Rachel went very red, and kerry started laughing hysterically. "REALLY?" Kerry gasped.  
"I'd recognize her anywhere! Do you have morphing powers?"  
"Of course." The mysterious child looked admiringly at Marko. "He's cute. Is he taken?"  
"YES!" Rachel yelled, knocking her out, then dragging her back on the ship with them.  
  
-/|\-  
  
Who will save your souls when it comes to the berries now  
Who will save your souls after all the lies that you told, boy   
Who will save your souls if you won't save your own?  
La da de da...  
  
  
Kerry and Mystery got together and planned a revolt against the Animorphs. Tommy was killed during it, but they escaped.  
"Nooooo!" Mystery screamed. "TOMMY! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DIE, TOMMY! PLEASE!"  
"I'm not Tommy," Tommy gasped with his dying breath.  
"Who are you?" Mystery asked, skidding to a stop.  
"I was really… Tobias… I was reincardnated as…" Tobeas ran out of dying breath and died.  
"NOOOOO!"  
Mystery raised her fists to the sky. "I'll get you, Yeerks! If it's the last thing I do!"  
  
"You don't have to do this."  
"Yes I do."  
"You don't!"  
"Stay out of this," Mystery growled. "If you follow me tonight, you're going to die, too."  
Kerry watched on the news that night that an underground chamber had mysteriously been blown up by a mysterious child who mysteriously no one knew.  
  
-/|\-  
  
Some are walking, some are talking, some are stalking their kill  
Got social security, but that it doesn't pay your bills  
There are addictions to feed and there are mouths to pay  
So you bargain with the Devil, say you're o.k. for today,  
You say that you love them, take their money and run  
Say, it's been swell, sweetheart, but it was just one of those things  
Those flings, those strings you've got to cut,  
So get out on the streets, girls, and bust your butts.  
  
  
Rachel was in a really cool looking control room with lots of controls. It was nifty. She noticed something.  
"Jake? I think I know where our kids escaped to."  
  
Kerry drilled her recruits. She had actually stolen their rules mainly from the Satanist's Commandments, but no one could tell the difference.  
"Never love anything so much you can not see it die," Kerry shouted.  
They repeated.  
  
That night, Kerry sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the floor. "I don't know, David… it seems like we're losing before we even start."  
David, who had escaped from the island and the rat morph ingeniously, patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Kerry. We'll win this war."  
[A/N: I would break YKYWARBFW #… I don't remember the number. The porn one. But I'm not that bad.]  
  
-/|\-  
  
Who will save your souls when it comes to it baby  
Who will save your souls after all the lies that you told, boy   
Who will save your souls if you won't save your own?  
La da de da...  
  
  
Kerry, David, and their troops faces the Animorphs.  
"You're never going to win."  
"You're never going to beat us."  
The elimist, with wonderful timing, had been reincarnated as Tobias, and shot David.  
"NO! DAVID!" Kerry screamed. She tried to stop the bleeding, because it was messing up their matching t-shirts, but it was no use.  
David tried to speak, but he was dead.  
Kerry charged Marco. "I LOVED YOU FIRST, mARkO!" she screamed.  
Eric couldn't help himself. He had to kill her.  
"Erek?" Cassy asked. "How did you do that?"  
Erek shrugged.  
  
The murderous, bloodthirsty Andalites were playing their own original blood sport when Elfangor screamed at them. "NO! YOU MUST SAVE THE ANIMORPHS! YOU MUST—"  
  
-/|\-  
  
Wow. What an odd dream, Kerry thought, blinking. She got up and went to school.  



End file.
